Believe

The things that come most quickly into your life are the things you believe in the most.  You can bring to you only what you believe,  so you must believe to receive what you want.

Wrong timing at a wrong period , i only hope everything is fine and the fault is at my end , shouldn't have told things at wrong period of time. its my fault and not anyone's fault.

And i have never weaver my heart. I am still waiting for a right moment.

Story of my life.

Been wanting to update this site for a while now but have been bus ever since the last post. which was in August ? I guess.

Well just turn 22 just a month ago and have been a bless with such a lovely group of friends, especially my Y1S1 friends , L2OP and Sidetrack. Now its been clear , who's the angels and who's the devils in my life. It's really a tough journey in life, Knowing who is true to you but as time goes by , It will be clear to oneself that those who stand by you throughout the your toughest period, they are the ones that are true.

Well , I have found mine , Although i can say its not a lot but they are what they are.

Here's a little story of my life:

When I was young , I didn't have a good childhood. 

I was placed to my grandmother house to live with her when I was born as both of my parents was busy with work and my parents think that I should be there because They have my brother around and causing a mess for them already, hence I was placed there until 3 years old when I actually know how to walk and talk then they decide to bring me back.

Despite of everything , my parents are money-oriented, they still keep working and the only source of communication in the family is my brother , I am been sticky to my brother until the age of 14. In the process of growing up, My dad failed in his business and needed to close down his business and became and taxi driver. He always been busy, he didn't have much time with the family because of money, he tolled all his life working and working. Got into a lot of debts due to his business and frequent accidents when he's a taxi driver. He worked hours for repaying those debts. He's a smoker just like I am. He's relationship with the family isn't good at all, frequent quarrels with my mum build up more hatred for me and my brother as we always stand towards my mum's side as he is the one who cause all the debts in the family and my mum needed to pay his debts. This caused me and my brother, didn't acknowledge him as our father as he would sometimes blame us for the cause of everything, telling us that feeding us isn't easy and maintaining this family isn't easy.

At some point of time , I realise my hatred toward's him is all wrong , totally wrong but to the point of time , it's all too late, he passed away when I was the age of 17. I realise , I didn't put myself in his shoes why he tolled so much why he have such temper at us. I was totally wrong and I am partially guilty of his death. I cursed him to die. Just before 2 weeks his death , I cursed him , to die early and that would caused the problem of this family will cease and cursed him is not because of this reasons but is just out of my temper for locking me home. Which made me regret in my life a lot even till now. Sometime at night , i would have nightmares. I can't get over it.

I was rebellious back then, that caused 

After , I started to change , I attended school more often , studied hard for my O Levels but eventually still caused me to stopped my tracks as I failed my English I couldn't go anywhere. I didn't give up , i wanted to prove to my dad that i will make it, I will make a better future to myself assured that i wouldn't let my future family end up like he does. Eventually it ended up to where I am , Republic Poly . I worked hard for my results, yes i still miss lesson but i worked hard for my UT  to get better results. I can say that my results is not the best but at least i can say i worked hard for it and i can be proud of it .

Now that the journey is ending ,I am grateful of people I have met . People I have met and left. Realising is the bad part after all because it gave me much more focus of what I needed in life .

Now that I am partially crippled. I cherish things I do much more . I look at things more carefully . 

I will eventually be a burden to people. I know it one day .

Graduate-soon-to-be

After so long with countless of sleepless night and countless of hardwork, my life as a poly student is coming to an end and now i am stepping out of school to face the society now to work as an intern although is just intern , i just hope everything will be fine and get to learn something in IT.

I am hype for graduation in May next year and step into another phrase of my life. Serving the nation like any other guys in my country does.

Everything.

I am trying, trying hard . Everything seems so blur ahead didn't knew what's next , school , work and life burns out every single time of my life , I don't regret but sometimes I knew that I need to take a break but I can't stop anything. 

Results is bad for this semester and my dream to uni is further now, I am worried. I made a long way to here, I Skipped school yes but for UTs i have put in more efforts then ever but what for working so hard where result doesn't get what I wanted. 

Needs to reconsider.